Drunk...everyone got drunk..except mi...HAHA and the hong kong gangsters....hahaha...my classmate T.Ratch is now sleeping beside me on my bed...looks like i'll have to sleep on the floor haha...
hmm..i'm getting tired...time to get some sleep...what a nite...LOL
i'll update again when i wake up...
18th birthday juz turned at a blink of an eye...it's a day me and bro P.C looked forward to since last year..
well,went to Halo bar in sch after my lesson finished with brother P.C to have our er ren shi jie..juz a small little warm -up b4 saturday comes..the whole bar only had us..lol...no ppl liao..drinked a mug...chit chat..tok abt how we so much wanted this day to come...and when it came..it wasn't really a big thing afterall..
you know it's like..you anticipated this day to come..u wait and wait..and suddenly when it finally comes,your anticipation and exictment suddenly drops to zero level..
You found out that...
IT'S ACTUALLY NOTHING.
nothing really..just a birthday that everyone has,just that it's on a different date...you find that there's nothing special out of it...
Sometimes we just make a big fuss out of everything...
Then brother P.C took out this box of Famous Amos cookies..i thought it was his friend's gift as a present for him..so i put it back into his bag without him noticing..but it turned out that it was for me!!LOL!!!i wasn't drunk,just that he never say whu was it from and for or what wat....hehe...
After a mug,brother P.C wanted to upgrade...he ordered two shots of JD...Jack Daniel..haha..wah siao..haha..drink drink...my stomach and head got a bit weird but it was alright..then a while later,came out MOT seniors...wah they siao one...come in order martel liao..haha...drinking...i think it runs in the MOT blood...LOL...
7pm came...time to go home...got home...wash face...and went out to Tiger coffeeshop to meet with the gang..every1 was there except Titus and Mun. slack..eat...tok cock...and came the birthday cake that they bought from the cake shop near-by...kinda surprised...but not again!!!Jo's bdae celebrated at hawker centre...mine at coffeeshop!!what's next?!!so sang THE song..and BLEW the candle...the moment that flame went off..i only remember myself covering arms over my head...KENA WHACKED like SHIT!!!!OUCH!!!ate the cake and it's time to go home..
But no..went to met up with some online friends...kinda bored though..coz it's my first time meeting them...by the time i went home...4 liao..
So that was the day for the newly 18th year old kid.
Never made any wishes though..
if there is,it's U 2 b happi.=)
feeling a bit feverish now...
needa chill..
time to bathe and proceed to Halo fot another bash..this time for the july ppl in all...it's gonna be big!!lol..
B4 i forget,special thanks to those who made a point to send me wishes and greetings..especially the birthday song the ECH gals from primers gave me at Canteen 2 during LUNCH BREAK!
Thank you:
Brohter P.C for that box of Famous Amos cookies,although it's not with me now..haha..remember to eat half first b4 giving it to me hor!!lol..
My BOB(Band of Brothers) for that sipderman chocalate cake and Fox Racing Cap...i like that cap!!=)and not forgetting the cake..though i onli got to eat the left-over..haha..
I thought there might be more...but no more liao...haha
mabe i've outgrown from that present giving thing...
To me a birthday is juz a birthday,but u guys made it special..=)
Brothers forever.
until the next 29th of July,
Zu Wo Sheng Re Kuai Le.
oh ya!and ZU BRO P.C TOO!haha..
if she is happy with her life,y go n disturb the life...
just let it be lah...
What exactly keeps you alive??
apart from the basic physical elements that your body needs in order to stay in tuned...
what exactly keeps you alive??
hmmm..
i wonder...
is it the dreams you pursue??or the friends and families around you??
who do you live for??
For me,
i guess what exactly keeps ME alive....
is trying to figure out what exactly keeps ME alive...
jurong-esplanade back to jurong=2 hrs.
new record!!
cycled to Esplanade alone with my trusty Giant XTC Team 2004.Was suppose to meet with some of the primers to recce the place for the night cycling..but they found out that the rental shop was closed.and by the time i've already gotten ready to set off..
so heck care.
Helmet on.
Shade on.
Mp3 on.
Gloves on.
HIT THE ROAD!!!
It's really been quite a time since i've cycled lond distance..but surprisingly i didn't feel tired...cool!!set off at 10pm and found myself there in no time!!11pm..
the place was nt so crowded by then...probably rushing back in hope to catch the last train..found a spot where i'll always sit; the stairs beside the little mini stage..as i was sitting there,i ought to be laughing at myself..or being laughed at...i was the only fella there alone...couples everywhere..(unsightly..ew...i hate them..)if not,there are bunches of friends hanging around..
There i am;AloNe,munching on my energy bar trying to keep myself "accompanied"...watever that may mean...slack for a while more...feel the breeze,feel the couples and ppl around me..feel the feeling of being alone..kinda sucks huh??but in lonliness,i found peace...or maybe i should call it calmness...
but it still sucked anyway..
after 50 mins and pondering and reshuffling my brain..it's time to go home..by the time..the roads were pretty much empty...alone once again!!especially on the West Coast Highway...the road was too quiet that it felt errie...
Riding alone kinda haf a diffirent feel...
it's you alone...YOU...no one else...
U,your bike and the road...
u,your bike and the road...
NO ONE ELSE...
reached home:12:50am
2 hrs thru and fro!!woo!!
**I didn't choose to go on this lonely journey,circumstances made me do it,there're times i feel like giving up and just turn back.But i know that it's no use turning back..if i turn back,it's not just the loniness i'm gonna have to face;sadness will devour mi;hatred will corrupt mi and love will crush mi..
No matter how hard and lonely the journey is,i'll push forward...like how the wheel glides effortlessly along the road..
until the day i've completed the journey by myself,i'll never be myself.
for now...i'm still riding on...let the wheels turn........**
i'm feeling disturbed...becoz somebody's disturbed...
it's disturbing to see the disturbing of somebody being disturbed.
ha..
wateverrrrrrr...
well...i hope u get better..=)
and i getting over with it...
time to hit the books..
Basic Thermo Fluid here i come..
-=HERE WITHOUT YOU=-
A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me
Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me
maths today was ok...make lots of stupid mistakes...aw well,it's over now...marine industrial safety tml...not gonna study..dun noe what to study...
hmm...
playing pool after first day of common test with my twin brother...how cool is that..lol..went to mambo after our CT...the paper was relatively easy...no worries..
balls....they're farni and so unpredictable..be it soccer ball..basketball...cue ball...had quite a few farni matches...the ball like dun want to go in dun want to go in...then suddenly went in...
hmm..i wondering if there's anything beautiful in life that goes round and round..never ending...except my belly..
nah i think not..ppl come..ppl go..no such thing as never ending..
came out of the plaza after wandering for 15 mintues or so trying to find the exit..found out that we were caught in a big rain. shit.so found some place to seat under the flyover..tok cock..tok cock..brother P.C talked about us getting a condo and stay next to each other's unit.haha!he say he'll drive mi back when i'm drunk..well..if i was drunk..i'll make sure he'll get drunk too!!haha!
went home,shit,slack and slept.wake up,work..i'm gonna end my work soon...can't believe i've been working there for more than half a year already..time flies..dun noe if i'll be transfered to Jurong Point outlet...have to wait and see how things go...if not..i think that's it 4 mi..i'll take a long break...chill myself out...
till now,i still trying to face the truth...sounds dumb and stupid...but bo bian..i cannot take what's being smacked right in front of my face..ThE TruTh,tHe IneVitAbLe,UndenIabLe,unavoIdabLe FACT...faCT...fAct...FacT!!!
i juz need to be left alone.
for how long?who knows..
the last time i got myself out from isolation was a year...=)
well,gotta go get my hands on some Maths questions b4 tml comes...they're a killer.
they always say that being happy and sad is just a thin margin...
but why is it always so hard 4 mi to be happy..=\
how do i cross over that line?
hmm..
common test starting tml..i haven study anything..
no point studying if u don't feel like studying...
no point being happy if you're not happy...
no point............
blogging now with my face red and hot...haha..but i'm not drunk..haha..at least i noe how to control myself..haha not like joseph and ashok!!!haha!!well...went to town with the fellas..sihao...kristy...desheng...aston...vin..and the b'dae boy...joseph!!!haha!!didn't really like going town as u all noe..but nvm la!! give jo face!!haha!!slack there..eat BK..walk walk...then off to Queensway ABC Hawker Centre we went!!haha..
drinking session was fun...20++ of us driking 5 cartons of bottled beer...from Tiger..to Henikien...then Achor!!wo0o0o!!!haha..but b4 tat we had this 2.5 kg cake that wee leong bought..as there we were...20++ ppl singing birthday song to Jo...in the middle of the hawker centre somemore!! everyone looking at us!!lol!!but it was cool...then came the 5 cartons...wo0o0o...drink till die ah!!haha...a few of us vomitted the cake out...ek!!!!!!haha!!but MOST of us were fine...except some...like jo!!!!toking cock all over the hawker centre....he was gone!!!lhaha!!then feeling a bit hungry after my cake came out...i order mee pok...wah shiok!!tasted so nice!!especially the meatball..haha..everyone was happi!lol...then we took cab home...the sober ones..like mi!!! wif Jun Ming..Daniel and Desheng took one cab to send Jo home!he was dead by then...as we were taking the cab...jo was dead asleep and lying on my shoulder...the feeling was farni...but nice...having someone lying on your shoulder...i was feeling kind high with him lying beside mi....but why jo?!?! can't it be a girl or someone...or maybe "U"...haha...hai..gave my first time to Jo...haha... reached his block...he vomitted...luckily henever vomitted in the cab..if not..bang balls!!haha..literally cariied his home..strip him down to his boxer and threw him on bed...say goo nitez to him and off we went back home...
i had a cold shower which felt shiok and now here i am...haha...
wat a nite!!! thanks guys who were there...u guys made the day!!!hahaha!!!rocks!!!
till the nxt time!!!!!hahaahah..
wah head feel light...think tml sure bad hangover...argh!!!!hehe...
nitezzzz guys.......
sleepy..dreamt of someone...again...ZZZZzzZz...dreams are always so funny..and ridiculous..
but sweet....real sweet....
i was in school yesterday...brother P.C asked mi to go read some notes..so yea why not??met in canteen one makan..then off to the library we went...found a nice cosy corner...P.C was taking his CAD/CAM notes out...while i took out my brand new 2005/2006 Street Directory!wrapped one somemore!!haha...coz i had to plan this nite cycling thing and thought of getting a new directory to make sure that the roads are still there..haha..
so there i was...reading my Street Directory..students walking past muz be thinking which freaking course i'm in..Geographical Engineering?!! lol...
There was this farni incident...sitting directly opposite of me was this pretty lady..didn't really see her but juz got a glance..then P.C was listening to my MP3..probably trying to out-voice the music in the MP3.He said LOUDLY,"Eh,你看你前面那个char bor 漂亮吗？“
I was betting the whole library could hear what he was talking!!let alone the lady in front of me...i think the lady got pai seh...coz she ran off...ok..she didn't run off...but juz walked off...LOL...
after an hour or so..guess where were we....Mambo Pool....ha...after playing an hour..went to work..and got drenched in the heavy rain..damm...got my shoes all wet...
one more farni incident,my working frend;Steven and i were in the toilet washing our hands after cleaning the shop..boy u should take a look at the shop now..it looks empty!so there we were washing...and washing...then out from the last cubicle came out a lady...wait a minute.. a lady!!i looked at Steven,he looked at mi..then we looked at the lady..the lady look stunned..but act like everything is normal...wash her hands...press soap..wash her hands again..then walked out of the GENTS.i dun noe whether to luff or not. but i felt sorry for her...she muz haf felt pai seh..i can still remember that look on the face when she saw us..lol...
hmmm...well..juz finished watching LOST.in fact it's the first time i'm watching it...work forbids me to watch the show..but it's nice!!really!!woo...went for a jog this evening,then it suddenly rained...i slowed down my pace...and felt the droplets smacking on my face..at that moment,nothing matters anymore..u couldn't figure the water on your face was the rain or your sweat..u juz....let it pour on you..washing you..cleansing you...and hopefully..renewing you..
thursday...another day...depression sets in and never left...maybe i should go away for a while...maybe i should drive this journey on my own...like what my twin bro P.C says...that "along the road of life, there're countless turns and slopes,it's just simply how you drift past it..."
obviously i didn't make it.
just finished packing my room..never looked so neat in a hundered years...ha...well,haven really start touching my notes..so yea...nowadays i onli eat 2 meals a day..ha...not bad..can save $$...=)
aywy,found something worth pondering over for...Read slowly to absorb..
it goes like this:
To think about thinking is to think of thinking that makes thinking a think about thinking in thinking that stinks.
hmm..so why am i still thinking...=\
Waiting for my hair to dry b4 i go sleep...was out at Marina for steamboat since it was Chor Yeow's birthday...everytime i go for steamboat,i always dun eat what i paid for..haha..always feel cheated...but i guess everyone feels that way..if not how the shops survive....lol...
then came back to J.E sing K box...my singing used to be acceptable...not good,but acceptable..but nowadays...out of tune..haha maybe i'm not in a mood to sing..**excuses***!!haha..
so now my well all dried up...go out half day 50 bucks fly away..
think i'm gonna juz stay at home and eat bread for the rest of the week..
=-FINALLY-=
Rain finally stopped.
Tears finally dropped.
Clouds finally scattered,
My dreams finally shattered.
Wind finally shut,
I feel like i've been cut.
Sun finally shine,
But why are U still not mine?
Sun already shone,
you're already gone..
first time i changed my blog skin...it's been almost like two years....lol...i've never change my skin...never really wanted to change it....i always think that it's the content that matters..but sometimes it needs a little packaging...juz like life..people dun always get to see your inner-self...and they judge u by your other look...
went out riding today...but got caught in the rain...argh..one of a rider's worst fear...if onli i was jogging..haha..
I was at the Young Leader's Day talk at the Expo yesterday...was asked to help out in the event as a logistic member...so there i was in my long sleeve shirt and pants,running around trying to keep everything in order..the speakers were very good and inspirational...there was one speaker that caught my heart....if i remembered correctly..his name was Dr. Chen..He was born a handicap and couldn't walk...despite his disability,he went to RI and even became a doctor!!and then went on to finish 7 marathons in 7 continents in 70 days...breaking the previous World record...WOW.i got tohaf a little chat with him which was cool!ha..
oh ya!!i saw Tanya Chua and Wang Tian Cai and his family at Expo too!!Wang Tai Cai veri tall sia..lol..
hmmm....everything looks fine now..but this missing feeling continues........
后视镜里的世界越来越远的道别
你转身向背侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追竟听见你的泪
在车窗外面排徊是我错失的机会
你站的方位跟我中间隔著泪
街景一直在後退你的崩溃在窗外零碎
我一路向北离开有你的季节
你说你好累已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹过往的画面全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回
後视镜里的世界越来越远的道别
你转身向背侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追竟听见你的泪
在车窗外面排徊是我错失的机会
你站的方位跟我中间隔著泪
街景一直在後退你的崩溃在窗外零碎
我一路向北离开有你的季节
你说你好累已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹过往的画面全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回
我一路向北离开有你的季节
方向盘周围回转著我的後悔
我加速超越却甩不掉紧紧跟随的伤悲
细数惭愧我伤你几回
停止狼狈就让错纯粹
i crashed without even lifting off.....
TWICE.
When will i stop crashing.....
i'm sitting at the back row of the class...juz finished watching initial-D with P.C on my laptop..dun now how many times i've watched it already...
hmmm..hope it ends soon...got work ah....
hmmmmmm....
i juz had the sweetest dream in my life juz now....i was'nt alone...someone was beside me...for that split second,it felt so real..
until i open my eyes...and found myself alone in my room once again..
dreams,will always remain a dream for me..
i'm beginning to hate humans...i'm beginning to hate myself...i feel disgusted...weaklings...humans are nothing but weaklings trying to prove that they can do big things..we rate people according to what we think...we judge them b4 we can judge ourseleves.We can be happy now but the next moment we feel hurt and empty.We try to find ourseleves in the midst of others..we're just merely living in each other's shadow...If one day they're gone,who are we den??How do u find youself??who we really who we are??If we are who we are...then..who are we??We are so unpredictable..is that a good or bad point??i dun know...
it's so hard to human...
it's so hard to be me...
it's been quite long since i've gone out riding...feels great..changed my pedals for extra power...the passion of riding..ah...how i wished i could ride everyday...but somehow..everything i do..life seemed colourless at the moment..
Basic Thermal Fluid Test tml....i'm not in the state of mood to do anything...
argh.
i remembered being asked of how to forget someone.I once told him/her that in order to forget that someone,he/she needs to forget the reasons of why u don't want to forget him/her.
But can it be done??
I doubt.
Now,if someone were to ask me the same question....
My answer??
Don't even try!!the more u try to forget,the more u won't forget!!!
i think the things and thought the thoughts,
trying hard to make the past be forgot.
but the more i try the more it comes by,
like daggers and knifes through my heart they slice.
how can i forget i don't know how,
but rite now i juz wished i could hear your sound.
when will i forget i don't know when,
maybe till the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand...
if there's one thing i'm being granted of...i wished that i could be away from here...away from the troubles of life...away from the troubles of love...and of course away from the troubles of "lu-whee"..i want to be shut out from the world...i want to do nothing with the world..i want to go to a place where no one lives...and there i shall live by myself,with myself and for myself...there i will cook myself..i'll eat myself..i'll do things all by myself..humans like to hurt each other...that's why i dun want anyone to be near me ever!!
it's already starting to hurt...i dun wanna be hurt...but everytime i see what i dun wanna see...it begins to feast on my heart again...
damage done,hope lost,me gone.
i'm giving up,i'm going off.
At least this way,i'm being rememberd/missed...i hope.
had a blasting time the other nite....went to this bar called the eski bar at Boat Quay...The 'cool' part about this bar was that inside the bar itself..the temperature is actually -1 degrees!!woah!!!cool rite???!?!! haha!!even when we talk,there smoke coming out from our mouths...even the table is made of ice!!haha..and when u order your drinks,u better finish them fast!!before they freeze up!!haha!!We were thinking that the only place you could die of cold in Singapore is the eski bar.lol..quite a nice place to "chill" out..haha..
woke up at 2 in the afternoon today..went to play pool alone then went to school for Ex-co meeting....Been asigned to come up with quite a lot of events...first would be the nite cycling...i've a week to recee and come up with a proposal...argh..i'm tied down to the neck...common tests coming up..die ah...
hmm,if onli one could forget...and move on with life...
can he??
subjected to change...
0800hrs-Go school.
0900hrs-have lessons.
1200-makan
1300-have practical
1415-kok liang fetch mi back on his bike
1430-bathe but never sleep.
1700-go work.
2200-go home.
i need sleep.or maybe u?
think i'm going mad...ha..
argh...i'm feeling....hmmm...how do i describe this feeling....
a bit sour sour...a bit sharp...a bit pain pain...