Just got back home!!!was out the whole nite travelling round Singapore with some of the peeps from my class...apparently 6 person sitting in a Renault Megane wasn't really a very good idea...but nevertheless we still went all over Singapore..
My friend went to fetch the people one by one starting from 2....after everyone got in...it was about six...first stop..went to Marina South to makan and slack..then it rained so heavily that we got stuck there till like 11...
After that go Toa Payoh central play a bit of pool....then send bro P.C home back first coz he got work early in da morning..next stop..Geylang's You Tiao Da Wang!!hahaha...u guys gotta try dipping You Tiao with chilli sauce...werii nice!!!!!haha!!
After that took a short detour to Lower Sletar Reservoir to catch a breather b4 heading back home!!!
Just a short summary of what we did this morning...
hmmm..so tired now..gotta catch some sleep!!later still got work!!
was suppose to get a good tan at Sentosa today~~ but it rian!!!shittttttttt~~~long time nvr slack at beach liao...somemore haven kick a ball in ages until today...lost the touch liao...haha..anyway today first time eat sub-way...wah!!so full!!! 12 inch of bread and stuff into my stomach~~LOL....
And so..the attachment at Keppel Fels ended...5 weeks...5 long weeks...from the day i stepped into that yard,i counted the days...one by one...hoping it ends soon...final until the day came where i had to bid the people there farewell...
Boy,parting is always just so hard...the sense of belonging is so strong there..we play,eat,work,slack there all together...i'm sure gonna miss them..although i'm pretty sure that they're not gonna read this but i still have a few personnal notes to say to them..
To...
Chee Wee-My mentor,ex NP MOT student who just started working at FELS for the past 6 months..thank you for bringing me to the VSCC meetings..watching you get screwed by the PJS(Project Supt.)...bringing mi round the yard..
Taha-also ex NP MOT student,Blasting Hall In charge..thank you for bringing me to the halls to know what exactly goes on in there..and also for making mi the 'runner' to photocopy your documents...and also not forgetting the laughter u brought when u fell off from your China bike in the middle of the busy yard when u were talking smth bad about the Captain.LOL..
Chizlian-the Charge Hand,thanks for the teh and curry puffs u brought every now and then!!!and also for teaching mi so many many things!!!
Jayapal the QC-the cute guy who always luff!!!nxt year gonna promote to Charge Hand le!!good luck...
The yellow container-this was the place i usually spend my time...
thanks for the air-con...the disable computer that can only play the default games..the office chair that i slept on....
Many thanks also to...Chia...Ayam...Kumar...Verra...Amin...Senthil...Bala...and many many more!!!!!
so many people to say thanks...i'm sorry if i forgot anyone of u!!
It's has been a fruitful experience in Keppel Fels...very fun but stress...but i could see that stress was nothing to them...because they had each other to held onto..respect**they joke and play like kids..but when it comes to work..they're very serious..
When u stay at a place for a period of time,you'll tend to miss that place if u were to leave it...having spent my time there,i suddenly had a thought of going back there to work when i graduate...how about my dream in the Navy??hmm...i still have 3 years to think about it...who noes what will happen??
Well...that's all i have to say!!!!if fate chances upon...i hope i meet u all again!!!
Hey guys,have u watched the show "Yong Bao Ming Tian"??
To most of us..it's maybe just another channel 8 serial drama... but to some of us...it means a lot..it means our stories..our fears...our troubles...
The guy that acted as Sipderman,together with the kid that gets bullied around in sch and the doctor Li??Do u remember what deformity they had??Some of us would have gone saying,
"Oh!!!ya..that thingy/scar across their lips.That's what they have.!!"
It's called a cleft lip/cleft palate.They call it Rabbit's lip in Chinese..due to the fact that all rabbits born have cleft lips..(when u come across a rabbit,be sure to notice it).Maybe i should explain a little further about this natural birth defect..
"Basically,a cleft lip is a separation of the two sides of the lips.The separation often includes the bones of the upper jaw and/or upper gum. A cleft palate is an opening in the roof of the mouth in which the two sides of the palate did not fuse, or join together, as the unborn baby was developing.The cause of this defect can be due to many factors..which may include genetics and environmental factors.What the doctors will do is to basically 'sew' up the 'gap' between the lips over a number of 4-8 operations throughout your growing years.Normally one operation every 2-3 years..until the 'gap' is closed."
According to statistics,ONE in every 700 newborns is affected by cleft lip/cleft palate.
Apparently on 29th July 1987,
i wasn't one of the 699 newborns...
I was born with a cleft lip.
-=Operations and more operations=-
3 weeks after i was born,i had my first operation...then subsequently the second...then the third...fourth...fifth....i got sick and tired of moving in and out of the hospital...it wasn't really that normal for a kid to go through that many op. in his life..All these stopped when i was around Primary 4...but i still have to go back for regular follow-ups..i remember Dad always use to get my toys and games after every operation.that was what i always look forward to...it just eases off the pain for a while..At that moment,i still wasn't really sure of why i need to go for numerous ops.sometimes i ask my Mum why and she just brush off that question and said i had a bad fall when i was young...i didn't really buy that but didn't probe further. i was just gald i'm getting out of that routine of being rolled into the operation theatre.
-=The early days=-
I was lucky that my cleft wasn't that bad to the extent that i had a language disorder..so i got enrolled into a normal Kindergarden..maybe because i was too young to understand what was nelgection and discrimination,i didn't have any rememberance of any bad encounters with the 'normal' ppl.So life was pure and simple back in kindergarden.
-=EE..look at u..=-
When i got into primary school...this was where the discrimination began..the boys started making fun of me...calling me all those nasty names that i simply dun wish to mention...the girls simply just shun away from me...very much like what the show protraits...but it wasn't so dramatic..my experience was rather straightforward..
there was this particular incident that i remembered very clearly..
We were suppose to do this road safety test in ECP (i suppose every1 is fimiliar),so i was doing this alone when i manage to catch up with 2 frends of mine.
So i asked if i could tagged along..they gave a very reluctant nod and we were now our way..as we were approaching the checkpoint..i kicked unto smth hard and fell flat,my face on the ground.the 2 'frends' turned around and looked at me.One of them told the other guy in Chinese,"We dun haf much time,let's hurry."Both of them nodded and hurried off.
Feeling angry and sad and wanting to prove that i dun need them..I got up,face eating up all the dust,my knee caps soaked with fresh blood mixed
with some dust and dirt..and carried on completing the checkpoints all by myself.I managed to complete the test in time with the card smeared with blood but at the same time i felt nelgected and disappointed...i began asking myself if i look really that irritating..
-=moving towards the teenage years=-
Secondary school.
The ranting stopped....the name calling stopped..except for a few ocasional times...somehow it had become much of a cold approach...they never say it out about how they feel towards a cleft lip boy like me..but i could sense this invisible wall between most the people when i'm in their company...i could see it in their eyes..as if they're talking.."you're different...you're different...what happen to your lips..."
But i was gald i found a bunch of great buddies in there.They were the ones that made mi felt normal..I am normal,to a certain extent that is...it just the people that was making mi feel the other way round..
-=Love??mi??=-
And then there comes a time when feelings start to grow...and suddenly u feel like falling in love...suddenly u saw someone, and your heart melts..for some, they would go rite ahead and sieze the chance..but for someone who has a cosmectic deformity,he ponders for a very long time b4 taking a step ahead.but that usually doesn't happen..even if it happens...it never worked out.never.We always say what matters is the inner beauty,but we never meant it huh??i wun't deny it.even for me.That is just how the world functions..
-=life rite now=-
Life stills goes on pretty much the same way...
When i go out to anywhere, i often get stares and whispering from people around me..wherether i'm in a bus a train or even just me minding my own busniess walking on the streets.There are bound to be people with their finger pointing here and there...i often get mistaken for how i look...and that upsets mi pretty badly..sometimes i just don't understand...like what Sipderman said in the show,"We're all humans...but why do we treat each other so differently..."but i guess we'll just have to live with this kind of discrimination...
What would really matter is how i live the life for myself,by myself and with myself..
let there be silence....
the confusion to settle...
the tension to ease....
the mind to rest..
the heart to still...
and the conversations to seize...
take this time to reorganise our thoughts...
and then after that,
let us think what we should do next...
Sun will rise,sun will set;
I need all the sunshine that i can get..
Clouds will gather,and then scatter;
The air i breathe is thinner and thinner..
Water goes up,water comes down;
Let the dizzling rain wash away my frown.
Flowers will bloom,and then they'll wilter;
Life just tatse more and more bitter..
Tide is high,tide is low;
Life is a cruel death,painful and slow..
People come,people go.
That is how the story goes..
-Ah Hao
Blow wind blow.....
Blow what??
Blow my mind away.................
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I don't wanna think so much.........
..............................................
........................................
Blow wind blow............
Blow what??
Blow my heart away............
........................................
It's nothing but pain...........
........................................
Blow wind blow..............
Blow what???
Blow my head up.............
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I feel like dying............
...........................
Blow wind blow...
Blow what??
Blow mi away......................
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Far far away from this place........
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Let mi lose myself.
i shld have known....i shld have at least done smth..silly mi...
another week.....u ok??i hope you're ok..haven heard from u lately...
i went to catch 同梦奇缘 this evening...finished my attachment at four thirty and then went to JP.Since i didn't have work at Jp today..and i had a free GV ticket voucher in my wallet..why not go catch a show??
The movie was great,Andy Lau was great..it's comical,yet it has the heart-warming and touching element..very nice..
If u're planning to catch it..
be prepared for a giant twist at the near end the story...
That really caught me by surprise...i almost brust into tears for the aging Andy Lau when he find out that...but cannot la~got ppl sitting beside mi..
ha..well...want to know the twist??
Go watch!!
=)
"The worst thing in life is that you cannot turn back time yet too, the best thing is life is that you cannot turn back time.."
Because if we can,how can we learn from the past?
It's just how we plan to do with what lies ahead...
Blues or no blues...Monday is just about to be over...
And so is my life...
whenever i feel all so not appreciated and taken for granted.,
i walk away and stay quiet...
very quiet..
Sometimes death of the mind could be a welcome relief from the misery of the heart...
If not now,then WHEN?
If not this way,then HOW?
If not you,then WHO...
Who?
We all must forget..at least try to..